Hi all !!
I’m actually not posing the question in the light you may be assuming…. so read on, and maybe you’ll end up as thoroughly confused as I am. 🤣 #sorrynotsorry
Why, when we KNOW that God’s plan is the absolute best for us, that His ways are best, that His grace is sufficient, do we still hurt/get mad/get sad when things don’t run the course we kinda want them to?
I’ll use a very real example…. DEATH !! When my Dad went to be with the Lord at 5.55pm on April 15th, 2017, I fell to the floor and wailed.. like FULL ON wailed !! Now, if you’ve followed my blog for awhile over on my ‘Lovely Shiloh’ blog site, you’ll know that I received a vision from the Lord of this moment… if you haven’t read it, you find it HERE. I’ve asked myself so many times since… Why was I so upset? This was literally the moment my Dad had craved his ENTIRE life…. he was going to meet Jesus for crying out loud… why, if I love him as much I know I do… why was I not fist pumping the air with the biggest smile on my face for what he was experiencing at that moment?
I fully realise that this is a question that has a very obvious answer, but still… when I don’t doubt a single word in God’s Word, when I know his promises are true, when I know Romans 8:18 to be true… WHY did I not see this for the moment it was… the greatest moment of my Dad’s life?
Spoiler alert… I don’t actually have the answer to this, other than the obvious ones… ‘The level of grief you experience reflects the level of love you have for that person.’ & ‘you crave the physical presence of that person in your life.’ These are both wonderful things as it speaks to the relationship you had with that person. I don’t need to go into how much my Dad meant to me… it’s been covered in several other blogs…. but as a general explanation… He was my rock, my greatest supporter, my example, my friend.. and the best Dad a girl could ever ask for.
When it comes to the loss of a loved one, I think perhaps it’s enough to WANT to have that type of faith level, even while knowing that it’s perhaps not possible to be 110% selfless in this regard (& this regard only, to be clear). It is certainly easier nearly 3yrs later to be ok with God’s plan for Dad… I mean heck, it was easier once the initial sting went… but there are still days, moments of days, when I so crave the presence of my Dad. Oh the comfort felt knowing that I will see him again !!! 💜
You can also ask this question of yourself in other regards tho. Why am I so selfish that I want this one, or that thing.. when perhaps that isn’t what God wants for me? Even if we’re very self disciplined and accept the opening & closing of doors in our lives as the Lord wills, it’s pretty much impossible to not feel emotions over each situation.
I think it’s only a positive thing if we are striving to be 100% happy with WHATEVER God’s plans are for our lives. I think it’s the growth we strive to achieve in how we react to things that defines the speed at which we mature in the faith.
I give the example of a close friendship of mine that very sadly came to an end a few years ago. It’s only now, several years later, with a new friendship formed with that person, that I can see God’s hand in that situation. Why those things had to happen. To be clear, how I always reacted during the hurt of that time did not need to happen, but that’s the biggest thing to come out of what was a terrible time. I was not in a place, was not spiritually mature enough, to accept/see God’s will in the situation. He was dragging me away kicking and screaming… and man was I kicking and screaming.
Through pain comes growth ! Such a true statement. It’s part of my testimony now… and we all know.. we don’t up with a testimony without a test or two. Sad, but true.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could just learn this stuff quicker than we do? ha ha. #wishfulthinking
I’m thankful for God’s Word that gives me such encouragement at all times, but mostly in those times when perhaps I’m not understanding God’s plan.